Monday, October 12, 2009

Mind games for dogs

Kylie with her new pumpkin bandana

Mind Games for Dogs to Play With Humans

After your humans give you a bath, don't let them towel you dry! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself on the sheets. This is especially good if it's right before your human's bedtime.

Act like a convicted criminal. When your humans come home, put your ears back, with tail between your legs and chin down, and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. Note: This works best when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. When the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.

Help your humans learn patience. When you go outside to 'pee', sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.

Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo.' Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.

When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.

Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.

Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don't reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).

When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.

Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside; this will drive them nuts!)

~Author Unknown~


Dan Gliubizzi said...

Holly and I have been contemplating getting a dog (Standard Poodle) for months...nice to know what to expect! UGH!! LOL

Delphyne said...

Poodles, like Border Collies, are smart dogs! I hope you consider the rescue places. Here's a link to get you started:

And, when you do get your Standard Poodle, post the picture on your blog.

Jasmine said...

Funny. I was thinking of getting a dog too. It's five years since my dog died, I think its time to get a collie :)

Delphyne said...

Oh, Jasmine - 5 years without a dog is a lifetime! Before Kylie arrived, I was without a dog for 4 years, the first time in 30 years! I can't imagine life without a dog - and I do love Borders. I hope you do get one and post a picture of her/him when you do!

Nancy B. Hartley said...

Hilarious! I remember reading something similair to this pertaining to cats. They know instinctively what to do to create the desired reaction, and we always fall for it, at least most of the time...

Delphyne said...

I remember that cat thing being funny, too, Nancy...I'll have to see if I can find it online somewhere.

Jasmine said...

Well I did get a little girl in the meantime... She's born year of the dog if that helps :))

Delphyne said...

Jasmine - your comment made me laugh! A year of the dog little girl is the perfect antidote for not having a border collie! I'm betting she's adorable, too!

Shelly said...

Oh, Kathy ... SO funny! And we think we are so much smarter than them. :)

Delphyne said...

And THAT thinking, Shelly, is the funniest thing of all!

Are you settled into the new place?